Why scrapbooking is lame

I don’t get the whole scrapbooking thing. I can’t even find the time or inclination to put my second child’s photos into a digital album, so the idea of framing his super-cute face with micro-bunting leaves me quite dumbstruck.

Apparently though, lots of people are fully into it. You can actually go away for a weekend with your craft glue and your recycled paper and your tiny little fabric butterflies and capture your memories with other losers scrapologists (they call themselves this in an effort to make gluing down beads sound like it’s a science).

There is even a…wait for it…’Nationwide Secret Scrapbook Event’. Seriously. WTF do all of you people do there? And why is it a secret? What are you sticking in those 5.5kg albums? And the scrapbooking workshops? What is up with those? How hard is it to scrapbook? If you can’t use glue and scissors, you don’t need scrapbooking; you need Occupational Therapy.

There is even a video on ’12 Ways to Washi’. And it has 82 307 views! That’s two and a half times the entire population of Stratford, Ontario, (which is where Justin Bieber was born FYI) all watching a vlog on different ways to adhere printed sticky tape to a piece of paper.

Can we just be honest with one another and declare scrapbooking UNASHAMEDLY LAME?

My friend Jo and I, both moms of two boys, were lamenting the fact that our entire family history from First Child Age 3 until Present Day exists entirely on Facebook. Pained by this motherhood fail, we decided to make regular play dates with one another, during which we would digitally organize our thousands of photos.

It was a genius plan. Obviously.

But then the play date would come and we would have 47 more pressing things to do. (and to be perfectly honest, when Jo and I get together, we’re really unproductive and all we ever end up doing is trying to resolve the world’s major existential crises over a minimum of two bottles of unwooded Pinot Noir).

So my children (and, me thinks, Jo’s) will never know the joy of having their First Grade Graduation photos lovingly stuck to recycled paper with washi tape (in 12 ways), charmingly captioned on miniature chalkboards.

Liam and Ben – to your future teenage selves, you’re welcome!

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